How to Do NLP Parts Conflict The steps

"A part of me wants to eat cake and a part of me wants to go on a diet!"
"A part of me wants to drink less but when I go out I think sod it!"

Have you ever said something similar to this yourself? If you have you have had what is comonly called
in NLP parts conflict. This is when you feel like you are fighting with your self and are fragmented.

A happy life is more easily found when you are aligned for the things you truly want and your behaviours are working easily and effortlessly towards them. 

Internal conflicts occur when two or more "parts" of a person lead to behaviours which are contradictory. The most problematic conflicts occur when the opposing parts have negative judgments about each other.

The Parts integration technique comes from the modelling of Fritz Perls – Gestalt therapy and Virginia Satir – Family therapy. The following is a general overview of the basic NLP technique for integrating conflicting 'parts'.

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1.     Identify the conflict and identify the 'parts' in conflict.

Ask the subject to discuss the conflict as they see it, look and listen for the different parts in the conflict. It helps to see these as distinct arguments, e.g. a part which wants to express itself, versus a part which wants to control this.

2.     Find the purpose and positive intent of each part.

Can I talk to the part of (person’s name), who wants to e.g. ‘express itself’?


What do you do for (person’s name)? Acknowledge the positive intention, e.g. that it’s a good thing to want for (person’s name).

What would you like to be called? – e.g. ‘Expression’ – ensure it is stated in the positive, if not work to enable the part to state in the positive.


3.     Talk to each part to express its perceptions of the other


What do you think of the part of (person’s name) which wants to e.g. ‘control‘?


Understand the issues the part has. Work to help the part get the issues out so that they can be dealt with.


Carry out steps 2 and 3 for each part.


4.     Make sure that each part recognises and accepts the positive intent of the other.


Ask each part, “Did you hear what the ‘Expression’ part does for (person’s name)?”


Get the parts views on the positive intent and help them to recognise it. If necessary look for collaboration and joint intent for (person’s name).


Use chunking up questions to get to a mutually collaborative place, e.g. “So if you have that (positive intent already stated by the part), what would that do for (person’s name)?”


At this step it is sometimes useful to re-engage with the person, by asking “could I speak with (persons name)?” to ask them to review what they have heard and consider if there is any other parts, or if there is a collaborative joint intent they could offer.


This could then be offered to the parts for discussion.


Establish a common goal, e.g. to keep (person’s name) safe.

5.     Identify the resources and capabilities that each part has that would be helpful to the other part in order to accomplish its’ own positive intention and the common goal.

Look for ways in which the parts could collaborate


Ask each part - What would they like to happen differently? How could the conflict be resolved?


Offer the suggestions between the parts, using the parts language and checking to ensure movement.  It is necessary at this stage to move between each part and keep rapport.


Ask the part what they heard, What they think about what they heard ?, filling in anything which they may not have heard which could be useful – sometimes they will have listen to all that is said, sometimes not a word.


If the part is holding anything which they heard as negative, or taken a slightly different perspective help them to find a way to make it work for them, or suggest alternatives. What would make this work for you? What other suggestions do you have?


Move between the parts, working towards a mutual solution for the conflict, working on the details of – How they will work together?  What will each part bring and how they can get the best from each other towards the common goal.

6.     Gain Agreement

Once you have reached a solution between the parts, gain the agreement of each part to the solution.


Get the part to describe the solution and you summarise and gain agreement.


Carry this out for each part.




7.     Check Ecology

Ensure that there are no other parts which would want to input/comment on the solution.  If there are other parts, discuss with the parts their input and as necessary work with the existing parts to bring the new part into the solution, re-gaining the agreement of all parts.

8.     Physical Parts Integration (Optional, if appropriate / ecological to do so)

At this stage you could, if there were only two parts, bring them together and integrate back into self.

9.     Future Pace (Optional)

Imagine what it is like to go into both your past and future, taking this integration with you and experiencing how it positively influences the events.


10.  Check with Subject to ensure movement on the conflict

Ask the subject, How is that for you now?


Is there anything else that would be helpful to the situation?


You are checking for movement (which you should have already witnessed in the above steps) and to ensure that there is nothing else left in the background.


You can also at this stage embed some commands, suggesting that over the coming days and weeks the parts will be thinking about and working on their agreed solutions.

11.  End Rapportfully!



How To Do NLP Parts Conflict The Steps 

Hypnosis Weight Loss London

The decision to seek help is the first step as you are struggling you are probably wandering if hypnosis can help? Yes you are currently struggling as a result of your relationship programing with food and it can be changed yes I can help!

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  • Diets don't work! Have you thought about why 60% of women are starting, finishing or failing on a diet at any one time? Motivation.
  • Any sound nutrition or exercise plan will work to lose weight, but the key is staying doing what you're doing.
  • How many people do you know who have been on a diet and then ended up heavier than when they went on the diet in the first place? Quite simply – diets don't work!
  • This is not a diet – they do not work. Scientific research shows that more than 90% of people, who attempt to lose weight by dieting, fail.
  • If you deprive yourself of food you end up becoming obsessive about it. Also your body is more likely to crave unhealthy foods, reacting as if you were depriving yourself of food. It wants fatty foods to store the food as fat instead of processing it. The body slows down its metabolism as it goes into starvation mode.
  • You can't change the bad habits with will-power alone; the unconscious mind (where behaviours are stored) has to be reprogrammed.
  • Have you had cravings for foods, and then wished you hadn't eaten them?

In order to be healthy we don't need to be on a diet, but to constantly eat well forever. Your habits are programmed and stored in your unconscious. There are many psychological reasons for being overweight. Drinking too many sugary drinks and/or too much alcohol, not drinking enough water, eating too much junk food, not eating a varied enough diet, not taking enough exercise. It could be that you eat too much food or eat too often. The cause could be snacking between meals or eating at the wrong times. You could comfort eat when unhappy, or eat as a reward, eat through guilt or as a punishment. There are many reasons why people become overweight, often psychological. They can all be reprogrammed and I will do this for you. My program doesn't just use NLP and hypnosis, the tools that Paul Mckenna uses, but also aryvedic principles, designed by Deepak Chopra, in order for us to understand why we have the relationships with food that we do and to understand our physiological body type. Deepak Chopra is a Doctor and author of several books, including three best sellers in the USA.


  • If you are overweight it is not your fault, it is just programming. I will show you techniques in order to reprogram these unwanted patterns, so that you lose weight more easily.
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  • Learn to eat what you want
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  • Techniques to remove cravings
  • If you want to exercise, I can enhance your motivation to do so

When you have worked my programme you will feel more in control around food, feel motivated to take exercise if you want to and feel really happy with your body. You will have a different relationship with food as the weight comes off easily and effortlessly.

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"Hypnosis Weight Loss Testimonials"

How Hypnotherapy can help you?

You will probably be amazed by just how many different issues hypnotherapy can help with. Most people know that hypnosis can be helpful for stopping smoking, losing weight, treating phobias, and removing stress and anxiety. Hypnotherapy can assist with anything where there is any kind of a psychological aspect to the problem or goal.

Hypnosis has been used to allow operations to take place without an aesthetic and is used in sports enhancement, to aid concentration, pain relief, and has been proven to increase antibodies. You are thinking can it help me? No matter how unusual your situation is. Yes is the likely answer. Click on the treatments section for further specific information and should you have any questions at all I am happy to answer them. I also offer a free consultation service.

Hypnosis For Concentration

The decision to seek help is the first step. When you come to see me the rest is easy. Pick up the phone
at lets have a quick chat and unleash the fast learning power and focus you desire.

  • Procrastinate instead of doing what needs to be done?
  • Find that when you read information it's not going in?
  • Poor study habits?
  • Poor memory?
  • Absence for reward?
  • Fear of failure?
  • Know that you have the knowledge but can not recall it!
  • There are internal and external factors that need to be addressed to improve studying


We will assess the inhibiting factors to your study. We will together design your learning programme. This includes information about your study area, eliminating external distracters and changing the internal dialogue you are saying to yourself.

We can aid your memory by organising the leaning into a more logical pattern. Rewards need to be built into the plan.

Next we use the power of your unconscious to perceive the learning experience as an opportunity, and gain a positive attitude about it changing the habits and procedures which are detrimental to the learning experience.

Improve your confidence and self esteem.

We can improve your recall of information so that you can access your wonderful mind more easily, improving your study habits.

When you have worked with me your general learning will improve. You will have to let go of the part of you that procrastinates and is not helpful to the learning experience.

You will enjoy the studying process and find that you are setting aside the appropriate amount of time to accomplish your goals.

You will be able to study easier without being distracted and recall the information more quickly, easily and without effort.

In addition to that you will look forward to demonstrating your skills at meetings, presentations or exams. Feel at ease for all those motions.

Hypnosis For Self Confidence and Positivity

IF you are looking for hypnosis for self confidence then I can help.

  • Internally uncomfortable presenting external confidence
  • Think poorly of yourself
  • Criticise yourself or others
  • Poor self esteem

The most important fact in not having internal confidence is our past programming. If you think of our brain as a computer it has been programmed, and it will always react the same way until you alter the software or reprogram it.

>>I can help get in touch today

You may have been conditioned to be afraid of failure, this can hold you back so that you feel it is better to fail now, to avoid failing later.

You could view your physicality critically, this effects the person you are to the point that you could actually say things that you think people want to hear as opposed to things you want to say.

You view things with a negative outlook, your thoughts and values become debilitating beliefs that don't help you, in fact they trap you. You avoid situations and have feelings that keep you where you are.

The things you say compound these beliefs to keep you in the same place.


When you come and see me the first thing we will do is remove negative programming, this includes any labels that have not helped you, given to you by your parents inadvertently. "Thick", "lazy", "clumsy", and any consequently given yourself, "I just don't think I could do that".

You will immediately feel better and improve your self projection which is how you think people perceive you. You will be less concerned about people's opinions of you.

Now you have alternative perceptions and additional information to any situation, so you see yourself and accept your self.

Next we change your persective and internal beliefs and change them (reframing). "I can't do it" can easily become I am unable at the moment to do this because of the lack of this when I have this there will be nothing to hold me back. If I have X I can take charge. Self esteem is a fundamental right for you to have and we will install this belief pattern and remove the part of you that worries unnecessarily.

I will help you with self acceptance. Whatever you did, you did at that point in your life due to your beliefs your knowledge at that point and those resources. You are human-treat yourself like one and see that you are a wonderful human being. Now your negative programming has been removed and any emotions holding you back are left in the past. You can move forward quickly. This can be done without discussing them or even remembering them. Easily and effortlessly.

You will notice change in your acceptance of your self-esteem and will be internally and externally more confident in every way.

  • Additional skills taught to you
  • Internal dialogue changed
  • Internally referenced

After you have come to see me you will know that you are worth it, worth your goals and you will accept yourself. You will have a positive outlook knowing that nothing holds you back. You will look forward with optimism and enthusiasm you will make choices that enhance your life.

You will no longer worry about things you can not control. You will be internally confident and less of a bundle of reactions. More at peace. Internally referenced and, no matter what stresses you have you will be more in control. Do you wish to understand why you reacted under certain circumstances? We can use aryurveda principles which translated, means knowledge of life. In order to understand yourself on a deeper level and have the choices to balance a healthy mind and body through the senses and, no matter what stresses enter your life, have complete control over the way you react.

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